Guest Review: "Robin Hood--Prince of Thieves"

My aunt Sharon is a very funny lady who loves movies as much as I do. I've decided to occasionally feature some of her reviews on my blog. I'm kicking it off with the 1991 classic starring Kevin Costner and Christian Slater.

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Great movie!

Robin Hood's brother Will Scarlet is an odd sort of dude who carries a grudge against Robin dating back to their childhood. Robin, typically, didn't like the intrusion of a potential stepmother following his own mother's death. Will felt wronged because he was the resented half-brother; Robin managed to get their father, Lord Locksley, to prove his love for his first son by leaving his peasant lover. Will was left as an illegitimate child with only his mother to raise him, which wasn't a good thing in those days.

The lovely lady Marion was not so lovely. Neither member of the Robin/Marian couple seemed young enough, judging by the standard of their day, to entertain the idea of having a family.

The Sheriff of Nottingham and his witch mother were every bit a person's worst nightmare. The Sheriff's sycophantic cousin Guy got what was coming to him.

Marian and her lady-in-waiting are probably portrayed in a realistic way! They probably needed to be prepared to fight for their own lives and virtues if the men wouldn't or couldn't defend them. This much is still true today. A lady can have a wonderful, supportive, and protective man in her life, but she still has to be prepared to defend herself if necessary.

It was refreshing to see the guys cat-fighting for a change. A good example of this was Nottingham's revenge on Robin--a facial scar for a facial scar.

Will's childish song underscored his place as the younger brother. His long-lasting grudge toward Robin was heightened when Marian chose Robin over him.

One question. If the Muslim dude was so much smarter and had so much more wisdom than Robin and the others, why on Earth did Robin have to rake his bacon out of the fire? Azeem pretty much created the debt that forced him to follow Robin to England in the first bloody place.

My First NFL Game: Jets vs. Bengals

This past Friday, I went with my parents to watch the New York Jets take on the Cincinnati Bengals in a preseason game. I was most excited about seeing the Jets #15--Tim Tebow. I've followed his football career since he played for U of F. Just like Tebow, I was homeschooled for the majority of my childhood. I'm not particularly religious, but I admire the way he stands behind his Christian beliefs. It's hard to find a good sports role model for kids these days, but Tim's one of them. He doesn't drink, commit crimes, or have tantrums when he loses.

As predicted, Paul Brown Stadium was an absolute sea of orange when we arrived. However, I wasn't the only one with Tebowmania. I'd say about 75%-80% of the female Jets fans I saw were wearing a Tebow shirt or carrying a sign related to #15. We were early enough to watch the team warm up. I stood by the rail and watched the heartwarming scene of Tim making a seriously ill child's day.

I'm trying to focus on the positive, but I think the Bengals fans have to be some of the most obnoxious I've ever encountered. And that's saying a lot considering I used to be friends with a diehard Yankees fan. Thankfully I didn't have to listen to the "Bengal Growl" or the equally terrible "Who Dey" chant very much. The attitude of most of the Bengals fans is especially confusing to me because the team hasn't won a Superbowl since before I was born and they're consistently one of the worst-performing teams in the entire NFL. Even their cheerleading squad has a D-grade name: the Ben-Gals. Why not the Tigresses?

I ended up having no voice on Saturday because I spent the majority of the game cheering. I'm not terribly knowledgeable about the game of football, so I can't really comment on Rex Ryan's strategy. I think people really need to stop making jokes about Tebow's passing because the Jets third-string quarterback is infinitely worse. The Jets didn't win, but at least it's only preseason. I have faith that they can bounce back in the first "real" game. J! E! T! S! JETS JETS JETS!

Top 10 Quotes: "Jaws"

Posting this in honor of Discovery Channel's 25th annual Shark Week


1. Hooper: I think that I am familiar with the fact that you are going to ignore this particular problem until it swims up and bites you in the ass!

2. Mayor Vaughn: It's all psychological. You yell "barracuda," everybody says, "Huh? What?" You yell "shark" and we've got a panic on our hands on the Fourth of July.

3. Quint: Front, bow. Back, stern. Don't get it right, squirt, and I throw your ass out the little round window on the side!

4. Brody: You're gonna need a bigger boat.

5. Polly: We've got a bunch of calls about that karate school. It seems that the 9-year-olds from the school have been "karate-ing" the picket fences.

6. Hooper: It doesn't make much sense for a guy who hates water to live on an island.
Brody: It's only an island if you look at it from the water.

7. Hooper: This was not a boating accident! It wasn't any propeller. It wasn't any coral reef. And it wasn't Jack the Ripper.

8. Quint: I don't want no volunteers. I don't want no mates. There's too many captains on this island. $10,000 for me by myself. For that, you get the head, the tail...the whole damn thing.

9. Hendricks: Mrs. Kintner must've put her ad in Field & Stream.
Brody: Looks more like The National Enquirer.

10. Quint: You know, the thing about a shark, he's got...lifeless eyes. Black eyes. Like a doll's eyes. When he comes at ya, doesn't seem to be livin'...until he bites ya and those black eyes roll over white.