2017: Year In Review

After a long hiatus for which I have no excuse, Shortstack is back! Overall, last year was a pretty good one for pop culture. Here's a summary of where my love for it took me this year:

Movies:
I went to my local theater a lot last year. What I didn't catch in theaters, I saw via Redbox. My brief impressions of everything I saw.

• Power Rangers: Didn't quite live up to my memories of the original from the 1990's, but it wasn't unwatchable.
• CHIPS: Still can't believe I watched the whole thing; no wonder Erik Estrada wanted nothing to do with it.
• King Arthur--Legend of the Sword: Came out the day I graduated nursing school, so I dragged my boyfriend and family to the theater after the ceremony. Extremely disappointing, even though Charlie Hunnam was frequently shirtless.
• Kong--Skull Island: Absolutely loved it.
• Wonder Woman: Boyfriend Redboxed it. Pretty good, but I still prefer MCU.
• Dead Again In Tombstone: Another Redbox find. I love Danny Trejo, but found it hard to keep track of what the hell was happening.
• Ingrid Goes West: Aubrey Plaza at her darkly comedic best.
• Guardians of the Galaxy--Volume 2: Endlessly quotable with a kick-ass soundtrack and A+ casting in Kurt Russell as Peter Quill's estranged father.
• Star Wars--The Last Jedi: Boyfriend took me. Prior to this, I'd never seen a Star Wars movie all the way through and had zero interest in doing so. I spent the rest of that weekend binging the original trilogy (not gonna lie, the Porgs helped).
• Spider-Man--Homecoming: Tom Holland is 1,000% more likable than Andrew Garfield or Tobey Maguire.
• Logan: The ending made me bawl in the theater.
• Thor--Ragnarok: It's rare for a sequel to be almost better than the original. Really enjoyed the Hemsworth/Ruffalo bromance.
• Kingsman--The Golden Circle: Elton John's performance alone was worth the price of admission. A worthy follow-up to The Secret Service. Although I'm not happy they killed JB.

TV:

• After 6 amazing seasons, Longmire had its last roundup. Walt and Vic (finally) hooked up and admitted their feelings for each other. Henry got the happy ending he deserved. 
• Bates Motel also ended with the expected amount of murder and mayhem. (RIP to yet another Kenny Johnson character, the incestuous Caleb Calhoun). The last man standing in the Bates clan was Norman's illegitimate half-brother Dylan.
• Kenny Johnson wasn't gone from TV for long before being cast in the revival of S.W.A.T. as team driver and third-generation SWAT cop Dominique Luca. Add in Shemar Moore of Criminal Minds and you have a recipe for sexiness. There's also solid writing by The Shield showrunner Shawn Ryan.
• Sneaky Pete, Amazon's original series starring Giovanni Ribisi as a charming con artist quickly became something I recommended to all my friends.
• Santa Clarita Diet. Though I am by no means a fan of the zombie genre, I couldn't resist after hearing Timothy Olyphant was attached to it. He and Drew Barrymore are fantastically hilarious as husband and wife trying to cope with Drew's sudden appetite for human flesh.
• Vice Principals had a solid series finale. I only wish there was more of Walton Goggins as the delightfully foulmouthed and psychotic Lee Russell to look forward to.

Celebrity Encounters: 

Golly days, it might be easier to list who I didn't meet last year. My local comic con, though in a midsize Southern city, attracts some high-profile talent.

• Theo Rossi AKA Juice from Sons of Anarchy and Shades from Luke Cage. "How you doin', doll?" the first thing he said to me in that New York accent made my knees go weak. I told him Juice was in my top 5 favorite Sons and he asked who else. I listed off Jax (of course), Opie, Chibs, and Kozik. "Really?" said Theo, "I don't hear a lotta people say that." Turns out he's also a big Shield fan and Lem was his favorite character too.
• Robin Lord Taylor AKA Penguin from Gotham. My cousin and I both cosplayed as Penguinettes (complete with Cobblepot for Mayor buttons), which he thought was absolutely adorable. He was so flattered I have a cat named Oswald that he almost cried. 
• Jeffrey Dean Morgan. At an absolutely disastrous out-of-state con, measures meant to cut wait time made it worse. My cousin and I waited 4 hours (!!!!). When he heard how long we'd been waiting, Jeffrey said, "Fuck! I'm sorry, girls" and hugged us both.
• Dee Wallace AKA Patricia of The Frighteners. Very sweet, mild-mannered little old lady. She did a guest role on Supernatural and gleefully described Jared Padalecki and Jensen Ackles as "yummy."
• Traci Lords AKA Wanda from Cry-Baby and a vampiress in Blade. And also porn, per my dad. When I brought up Blade, she said, "That heatseeker guy [Kenny Johnson] was actually like super-nice? I don't know what happened to him? I think he's on some cop show now..." 
• Walter Jones AKA the original Black Power Ranger and Rondell Robinson from The Shield. Told him I was a huge Power Rangers fan growing up, but I really liked him as Rondell. "Oh yeah!" he exclaimed, "I was a beast on that show!" Walter danced me around his booth to "Don't You Worry 'Bout a Thing" by Stevie Wonder, making him one of my more memorable con meetings.
• Danny Trejo. I love Con-Air, so I wore a fake cop badge and an Air Marshals Put the Bunny in the Box shirt to meet him. I also carried around a pink stuffed bunny in a box labeled POE. Danny's first question was, "What's with the bunny?" I told him what I was referencing.
  He laughed and smiled, telling me this was the first time anybody had ever thought of bringing a Con-Air bunny. He asked where I got my shirt so he could get one just like it. Danny also insisted on the bunny being in the picture and signed the shoe box as Johnny-23, his character from the movie.

2018 is already shaping up to be good. Got some fun plans in the works and will update my blog more often. 

Scarefest 2016

This weekend, I took my cousins to a local horror/paranormal convention. The main attraction for us was celebrity guest Steven Williams, best known to us as Rufus from Supernatural and Mr. X from The X-Files. He's also known to me as Captain Fuller from 21 Jump Street.

Unlike the last convention we attended, there were no lines whatsoever at the celebrities' booths. When I approached Steven's booth, I accidentally approached the wrong person about paying for autographs and photos. She told me to go to the other end of the table. As my cousin and I started in that direction, Steven called out, "Don't you send my people away!"

Steven was a very, warm funny guy. I told him I've seen every episode of 21 Jump Street and that my all-time favorite line of his was: "You're an undercover cop, Doug. You learn to puke!" He chuckled and even said the end of the line with me. Steven looked at me curiously and asked, "Where did you see episodes of 21 Jump Street? You don't look old enough." I told him Hulu and he seemed confused. I'm sure he later asked someone what it is.

Getting my 5'0" self in a picture with Steven's 6'2" frame was an interesting challenge. The rest of the convention wasn't of interest to us, but meeting Steven was well worth the price of admission.

It's not Halloween night, but I've already run into the Sanderson sisters.

Jurassic Park Jeep!

"Family don't end with blood."-Bobby Singer

Steven selfie!

Road tripping with my cousin Michelle and our old pal Scoob!

Jinkies! Did somebody say "mystery"? 

"Captain America: Civil War"

This is a rather difficult movie to review; there's not much anyone can say about it without major spoilers. Essentially, the plot is that an Avengers mission goes sideways and results in massive civilian casualties, including an African king. The UN gets involved and doesn't believe the Avengers should be able to operate independently; a binding resolution should control when, where, and if they deploy. Tony Stark AKA Iron Man thinks it's their best chance at being able to keep operating; others agree, including War Machine and Black Widow. Steve Rogers AKA Captain America is opposed to this binding resolution, as are Falcon and his bestie Bucky Barnes AKA the Winter Solider.

The performances by all the actors involved almost make up for the borefest that was last summer's Age of Ultron. There's betrayal, intrigue, and buried secrets around almost every corner. The strongest cast members this time out are Chris Evans and Robert Downey Jr., which of course makes sense due to the plot being all about their blood feud. That's about as much detail as I can give about the storyline itself. Here are a few other random observations:

• Seriously, who thought it was a good idea to name the African superhero the Black Panther? That name has pretty negative connotations associated with it. I understand that may have been the character's name in the original Marvel comics, but changing it would have been a good idea.
•  After whiny Tobey Maguire and the sucktastic Amazing Spider-Man movies, I developed a deep and serious dislike of that character. Tom Holland makes an appearance as Peter Parker. Socially awkward Spider-Man was much more relateable and sympathetic. He also had some genuinely funny one-liners. This kid made me want to see the new Spider-Man reboot when it comes out.
• Vision is freaking creepy as hell.
• I still haven't forgiven Scarlet Witch for the terrible hallucinations/flashbacks she made all the Avengers have in Age of Ultron. Those characters, oddly, don't seem to be holding even the slightest grudge. She's living with them in the Avengers compound now.
• After rolling my eyes at the trailers and refusing to see Ant-Man, I found myself liking his character. I might even watch his stand-alone movie now.
• There are two post-credits scenes, the first one of which is kind of emotionally traumatic.
• It's good to see Marisa Tomei back on screen again, this time as Peter's Aunt May.
• I hope to God that Deadpool never appears in an Avengers movie. The character is such a repulsive tool (and I've only seen trailers for that movie).

Photo credit: http://cdn1-www.superherohype.com/assets/uploads/gallery/captain-america-civil-war/ccghrbdxiaeu49d.jpg

The Truth Is (Definitely) Out There

I've been needing a new TV show in my life after binge-watching the entire run of Scrubs and The Shield. A friend recommended The X-Files, which I didn't expect to enjoy. Those so-called alien documentaries on the History Channel make me laugh and roll my eyes. However, I've made it to the Season 2 premiere and doubt I will be slowing down anytime soon. Here a few random thoughts/observations:

• Way back in 1994/1995, the writers definitely knew about David Duchovny's sex addiction. There are too many sexually charged lines and jokes for that to be an accident.
• Every episode is a fun game of Hey, It's That Guy! So far, I've seen Crowley the King of Hell, Darby from SoA, Arlo Givens, Percy Wetmore, and the school bully from Andre.
• Scully and Mulder need to kiss already.
• What the hell did Mulder tell his parents way back when his sister was abducted by aliens? I mean, he was babysitting her at the time.
• The theme song sounds like Autotuned whistling.
• Seriously, what's up with the screaming/melting face in the opening credits? And are those wiggly things snails or space worms?

You wouldn't think a show where every episode can be summed up with the following exchange could be so entertaining:

Mulder: It's aliens, Scully!
Scully: No, it's not, Mulder, don't be ridiculous! [later] Yep, you were right.

Guest Review: "The Arrival"

Charlie Sheen felt himself being sucked into this project by the vortex of the Heidi Fleiss scandal. He was trying to distract his loyal fan base from his addiction to illicit drugs and prostitutes, so he chose this unfathomable story in which he is cast as an astrophysicist. He knew it wouldn’t be a hit; he was in need of money. His brother Emilio Estevez appears to have been the perfect son, so Charlie had to make his mark somewhere. He accidentally scored with, like, 5 good movies to finance his more…artistically edgy choices.

Charlie’s boss at the university turns on him when Charlie announces that he has intercepted signals from intelligent life in outer space. (We eventually find out his boss is one of THEM!). Charlie is fired and splits for Mexico with his girlfriend, who thinks Charlie is paranoid (no kidding). Charlie is headed south of the border because he’s following the signals from his home laboratory, which are guiding him in the direction of the aliens. He arrives during the Day of the Dead celebration, setting a spooky tone for the rest of the movie.

Some loose ends are never completely woven into the story. For example, there didn’t seem to be a point to the character of the old Mexican man who walked his skeleton marionette around the streets. There was a puzzling scene involving scorpions and the death of a female professor who had been hitting heavily on Charlie.

Another character worth mentioning is Kiki, a young black boy who lives with his grandmother in the same neighborhood as Charlie. He ended up crossing the border with Charlie and his girlfriend, but didn’t feel like he had to tell his grandmother that he was leaving the country for an indefinite amount of time with a neighbor they barely knew. These days, the whole pedophile thing is pretty much out in the open. So would you let your grandson visit a bachelor in his sci-fi workshop and never check up on him?

Charlie, ya gotta start reading the scripts before you agree to do the movie. The talent is there, as we’ve seen from your handful of hits; consistency can be achieved! Learn to read. Pay someone to read the scripts to you! Most of all, listen to that little voice inside that is screaming: “NOOOOOO!”

The departure doesn't come soon enough!

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