Thursday, November 17, 2016

Guest Review: "Road House"

(Image credit) 
Lots of bare butts and violence, but the eye candy is unrivaled. Just Patrick Swayze, but he is enough. Patrick makes the whole movie run smoothly and seem realistic. By the time they got to the tai chi part, I was ready to sign up for a class.

The rich guy Brad Westley, his sycophantic nephew Jimmy, and their henchmen made a hobby out of extortion just because they were bored. An old guy named Red lost his home and auto parts store because he refused to pay the protection money. Brad and Jimmy just happened to not like him because his niece was the fair Elizabeth, Jimmy's former girlfriend. Elizabeth left him to become a doctor, then moved back to town to keep an eye on her elderly uncle as well as practice medicine.

The other bouncers didn't really want to do their jobs. They were afraid of the rowdy men and unwilling to get the skanky chicks to stop their dirty dancing. The bartender padded his paycheck through theft and wasn't happy about being caught; he resented being called a thief, even though he was one.

Patrick Swayze made handling that '65 Buick Riviera look like race car driving. In this movie, I noticed he had a bit of an Elvis complex. He gave Emmett his Mercedes to cover the rent. He had a power mullet and butt-kicking boots, though not as fancy as the guy who had razors embedded in the toes of his.

The romance between Elizabeth and Patrick's character Dalton was speeding along like a bullet train, but got derailed when Dalton ripped out Jimmy's windpipe with his bare hands in front of her. Jimmy had made homosexual advances on Dalton like those he'd made in prison.

What other movie could score with bad dancing, bad singing, and a no-good bartender, wait staff, and bouncers?