Top 10 Quotes: "The Frighteners"

Wow, have I neglected this blog! Life as a new nurse has gotten in the way. Coming back with this slightly late Halloween-themed post.

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1. Milton: You are violating my territorial bubble!

2. Cyrus: I could complain too, ya know. I would like some new clothes. You get to dress nice. Here I am still looking like Linc from The Mod Squad.
Frank: You died in the '70s. It's a bummer.

3. Ray: (after Frank runs over one of his lawn gnomes) My Budzo! I've got your license plate number, you bastard!

4. Cyrus: Ah, the old express bus to hell. No lines, no waiting.

5. Ray: I'm gonna sue your ass!
Frank: Let's not get litigious, all right? Send me a bill.
Ray: (reads Frank's business card) "Frank Bannister, Psychic Investigator"? How come you couldn't see the corner coming?

6. Old Lady Bradley: You don't know who my daughter is, do you? Patricia's not to be trusted.
Lucy: I beg your pardon?
Old Lady Bradley: I can have her locked up any time I want. They said she was an accessory after the fact. I know the truth. It was cold...blooded...murder.

7. Lucy: (sees young Patricia in a documentary about the Fairwater Sanatorium murders) That's her! I was in her house this afternoon.
Ray: Oh, that's terrific, honey. We've been in town for 3 months and you're making friends with the Manson family.

8. Judge: When a man's jawbone drops off, it's time to reassess the situation.

9. Frank: Persistent residue of the departed. Always a problem this time of year.

10. Ray: They shoulda fried her when they fried Bartlett.
Lucy: She was fifteen years old. You know, she just fell in love with the wrong guy. (pointed look) Could happen to anyone.

Top 10 Quotes: "A Goofy Movie"

On this day in 1995, Disney released one of its most underrated animated movies. Catchy tunes like "Stand Out" and "After Today" make this a road trip you'll want to take again and again. It's tough to be cool when your dad is Goofy.

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1. Goofy: Hey, Maxie, let's play a game. You think of a name and I'll try and guess who it is. Man or woman?
Max: (groaning) Aw man.
Goofy: Man, huh? That's a toughie. Let's see...Walt Disney!
Max: (dully) Right.

2. Max: (increasingly nervous when Roxanne's hulking dad answers the door) Hi. Is Roxanne home? Oh, my name is Max. Does Roxanne live here? Does she even live on this block?

3. Goofy: There'll be plenty of time for parties when you're older, Maxie. Why, when I was your age, I'd never even been invited to a party. And look at me now!

4. Bobby: Look! It's the Leaning Tower of Cheese-a!

5. Pete: Taking a break from the MTV generation, huh? Can't say as I blame you. (jumps in the hot tub and half the water sloshes out) People are always puttin' too much water in these things.

6. Max: This is the stupidest vacation! You drag me from home and jam me in this dumb car and drive me a million miles away to see some stupid rat show!

7. Goofy: (trying to guilt Max after his initial refusal to go on the trip) All right then. Guess I'll just have to go all alone, that's all. Just sit in the boat...all alone. And talk to myself. All alone.
Max: (brightly) I guess so!

8. Pete: If you keep 'em under your thumb, they'll never end up in the gutter.

9. Max: (singing) Can someone call a taxi
And get me outta here
To Beverly Hills, 90210?

10. Goofy: (singing) Who deserves a hero's trophy
As we face each cat-a-strophe
Nobody else but you

Scarefest 2016

This weekend, I took my cousins to a local horror/paranormal convention. The main attraction for us was celebrity guest Steven Williams, best known to us as Rufus from Supernatural and Mr. X from The X-Files. He's also known to me as Captain Fuller from 21 Jump Street.

Unlike the last convention we attended, there were no lines whatsoever at the celebrities' booths. When I approached Steven's booth, I accidentally approached the wrong person about paying for autographs and photos. She told me to go to the other end of the table. As my cousin and I started in that direction, Steven called out, "Don't you send my people away!"

Steven was a very, warm funny guy. I told him I've seen every episode of 21 Jump Street and that my all-time favorite line of his was: "You're an undercover cop, Doug. You learn to puke!" He chuckled and even said the end of the line with me. Steven looked at me curiously and asked, "Where did you see episodes of 21 Jump Street? You don't look old enough." I told him Hulu and he seemed confused. I'm sure he later asked someone what it is.

Getting my 5'0" self in a picture with Steven's 6'2" frame was an interesting challenge. The rest of the convention wasn't of interest to us, but meeting Steven was well worth the price of admission.

It's not Halloween night, but I've already run into the Sanderson sisters.

Jurassic Park Jeep!

"Family don't end with blood."-Bobby Singer

Steven selfie!

Road tripping with my cousin Michelle and our old pal Scoob!

Jinkies! Did somebody say "mystery"? 

True Courage: Patrick Swayze and Diane Endler

This week marks the 7th anniversary of Patrick Swayze's death. Though I never had the opportunity to meet him, his battle with pancreatic cancer both touched and broke my heart. Interviews with him at the time left me in tears. Patrick's calm demeanor and unwavering optimism reminded me so much of my beloved grandma, who suffered so horribly from the same illness. This year marks the 10th anniversary of losing her.

My mom's mom, Diane, is someone I've referred to in prior posts. She was one of the gentlest, most unselfish human beings I've ever had the honor of knowing. Grandma took care of me through some of the best and worst experiences of my life. She reinforced things my mom taught me about how to be a good friend and a good person. She was a devout Catholic and in many ways very conservative, but she still had a wicked sense of humor. For example, she liked to refer to the movie Young Guns as Young Buns. She'd drive around running errands while listening to one of my Aerosmith or Bon Jovi CDs.

Grandma was also my TV buddy. I remember her letting me stay up late to watch Walker and Alex get married on Walker, Texas Ranger. Her favorite cartoon was Hey Arnold! When I was in middle school, she decided I was old enough to watch CSI and Without a Trace with her. Every Thursday, I knew there would be extra-butter popcorn in my future and the fun of seeing which of us could solve the mystery first.

In early 2006, she was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer after feeling rather ill for several months. My family and I were all extremely concerned. I vividly remember sobbing in her arms as she stroked my hair and said, "Don't you worry, sweetpea. I'm gonna fight this. I'm gonna fight this as hard as I can. I'm not giving up." What none of us knew at the time was the survivability rate, that it was a death sentence.

Grandma's condition worsened as the weeks went on. No matter how much pain she was in, she never complained. She was still determined to do things for her family. As a child, she'd promised me diamond jewelry for my Sweet 16. That date was drawing closer and the diamond was the furthest thing from my mind.

When I got home from school on my Sweet 16, I went to Grandma's house like I did every day. I got I don't know what all from my grandparents that year. The last gift my grandma handed me was a jeweler's box. I opened the lid and gasped. Inside was a golden horseshoe on a chain; the horseshoe's border was edged with tiny diamonds. Back then, I was an avid trail rider with my own horse: Little Man.

I immediately burst into tears and gave Granny the biggest hug I could without hurting her. Even though she was so sick, she fastened the chain around my neck. The next month, May 2006, is when her battle with cancer mercifully ended.

I haven't completely recovered from the loss. I sometimes doubt I ever will because she was such a huge part of my life. In the past decade, I've only taken my horseshoe off a handful of times. It's been joined on its chain by a college graduation gift from my mom: a medal of my favorite saint: Saint Michael. I pray that one day there's a cure so no one will have to watch their loved ones go through what can only be described as hell on earth.

Gone but not forgotten. Diane Endler (1937-2006)

Top 10 Quotes: "Anastasia"

Today would've been my grandma Diane's 79th birthday. She was one of the kindest, most unselfish people I ever knew. I was lucky enough that I grew up 5 minutes from her house; she practically raised me while my parents were working. We loved to watch movies together and even when I got older, Anastasia was still one of our favorites. I suppose it was because we related so well to the bond Anastasia had with her grandmother Marie. It seems only fitting to post this in her honor.

1. Dowager Empress Marie: "You were the boy, weren't you? The servant boy who got us out. You saved her life and mine and you restored her to me. And yet you want no reward."

2. Anastasia: "Do you really think I'm royalty?"
Dmitri: "You know I do."
Anastasia: "Then stop bossing me around!"

3. Bartok: "You should really watch your blood pressure. My nephew Izzy, he just keeled over one day, mid-mango. And he's a fruit bat, sir. No meat, no bloody."

4. Vlad: "It's what I hate about this government. Everything's in red."

5. [Anastasia is looking inside an ugly dress Dmitri bought her]
Dmitri: "What are you looking for?"
Anastasia: "The Russian Circus. I think it's still in here!"

6. Vlad: "I see an engaging and fiery young woman, who on on a number of occasions has show a regal command equal to any royal in the world. And I have known my share of royalty. You see, I was a member of the Imperial Court."

7. Anastasia: "'Go left,' she says. I know what's to the left. I'll be Anya the Orphan forever."

8. Bartok: "Is this the face of a bat who would lie to you?"

9. Anastasia: "It's kind of hard to think of yourself as a duchess when you're sleeping on a damp floor. But, sure, yeah, I guess every lonely girl would hope she's a princess."

10. Dowager Empress Marie: "Knowing that you are alive, seeing the woman you've become brings me joy I never thought I could feel again."

I love you forever, Grandmama.

Top 10 Quotes: "Point Break (1991)"

1. Bodhi: "Fear causes hesitation, and hesitation will cause your worst fears to come true."

2. Pappas: "Listen, you snotnosed little shit, I was takin' shrapnel in Khe Sahn while you were crappin' in your hands and rubbin' it on your face!"

3. Harp: "You know nothing. In fact, you know less than nothing. If you knew that you knew nothing, that would be something, but you don't."

4. Roach: (while disguised as President Nixon during a bank robbery) "I am not a crook!"

5. Bodhi: "Little hand says it's time to rock and roll."

6. Johnny: "This is your fucking wakeup call, man! I am an F! B! I! Agent!"

7. Harp: "Special Agent Utah, this is not some job flipping burgers at the local drive-in. Yes, the surfboard bothers me. Yes, your approach to this whole damn case bothers me. And yes, YOU BOTHER ME!"

8. 15: "It's never too late. A lotta guys your age are learning to surf."
Johnny: "I'm 25."

9. Pappas: "Last time you had a feeling, I had to kill a guy...and I hate that! It looks bad on my report."

10. Johnny: "You crossed the line. People trusted you and they died. You gotta go down."

The Truth Is (Definitely) Out There

I've been needing a new TV show in my life after binge-watching the entire run of Scrubs and The Shield. A friend recommended The X-Files, which I didn't expect to enjoy. Those so-called alien documentaries on the History Channel make me laugh and roll my eyes. However, I've made it to the Season 2 premiere and doubt I will be slowing down anytime soon. Here a few random thoughts/observations:

• Way back in 1994/1995, the writers definitely knew about David Duchovny's sex addiction. There are too many sexually charged lines and jokes for that to be an accident.
• Every episode is a fun game of Hey, It's That Guy! So far, I've seen Crowley the King of Hell, Darby from SoA, Arlo Givens, Percy Wetmore, and the school bully from Andre.
• Scully and Mulder need to kiss already.
• What the hell did Mulder tell his parents way back when his sister was abducted by aliens? I mean, he was babysitting her at the time.
• The theme song sounds like Autotuned whistling.
• Seriously, what's up with the screaming/melting face in the opening credits? And are those wiggly things snails or space worms?

You wouldn't think a show where every episode can be summed up with the following exchange could be so entertaining:

Mulder: It's aliens, Scully!
Scully: No, it's not, Mulder, don't be ridiculous! [later] Yep, you were right.

Doug Penhall's Last Stand (21 Jump Street: "Number One With a Bullet"; Season 5, Episode 10)

Another post from my sister blog chronicling the departure of Peter DeLuise from 21 Jump Street.

In a small room in the courthouse, Doug loads his gun's magazine. He and an older man (presumably another cop) dress a ponytailed male witness in a bulletproof vest. Ponytail says he isn't scared of mobsters; Doug thinks the guy should be. They all go out in the hall to wait for the elevator. It's taking too long to arrive, so they walk to the other end of the hall.

Doug advises Ponytail to stay behind him with his head down when they get off the elevator. They're immediately swarmed by reporters shouting questions about the payola trial involving mobsters. "GUN!" Doug shouts as a suspicious man emerges from the crowd. The shooter fires and takes off with bailiffs close behind him. The older cop bends over Doug, who's lying motionless on the floor. Uh-oh...

Next we see of Doug, he's sitting against the wall, holding a handkerchief to his bleeding forehead. Cap'n Rufus firmly tells him to get that taken care of and helps Doug to his feet. "Just winged, I'm all right," Doug says a bit woozily. Cap'n Rufus tells Doug to go home for the day and spend some time with Clavo. Doug asks Rufus to forget his name the next time the state police want volunteers for special assignments. A blurb on the screen tells us this episode was directed by the man himself Peter DeLuise.

Doug, sitting in his truck outside, sees a strange woman walking up the street. She's holding Clavo's hand. "But I want my Uncle Doug," the kid protests, "He told me to never go anywhere with people I don't know." The woman reassures Clavo by saying she's a social worker. Doug approaches the woman, asking, "What's going on? That's my kid." The social worker doesn't acknowledge that he's even there. Given the odd haze around everything, I bet Doug is having an out-of-body experience, Bruce Willis style. Clavo pipes up from the backseat that he wants Uncle Doug. 

I'm right. Doug is in the hospital hooked to a ventilator. Joey and Clavo are standing by his bedside. Clavo asks what people think about when they're in a coma; Joey doesn't know, but maybe Doug is dreaming. Clavo wonders when he'll wake up. A female doctor comes in the room and asks to speak to Joey in private. Clavo holds Doug's hand.

In the hallway, the doctor asks Joey, "Mr. Penhall, can your parents be reached?" Joey tells her that they're orphans. The doctor explains that Doug's brain is swelling dangerously, which could kill him; there's a possibility he'll die during the surgery needed to relieve the pressure. Joey looks scared: "You're saying that either way he could die, that I have to decide?" The doctor says yes; Joey is, after all, next of kin.

Joey wants time to think about it. The doctor wants to do the operation within the next 24 hours if that's the option Joey chooses.

In Cap'n Rufus's office, Judy asks what happened to the DJ who witnessed Doug getting shot. The DJ went home and is now refusing to testified. In fact, no radio station employee in the area acknowledges the payola allegations. Mac is angry that Doug is in the hospital after trying to protect the DJ. Rufus will be sending Mac and Judy to a college radio station for a sting, even though it's not their jurisdiction. The case is now Extremely Personal.

Joey goes to see a priest. "I've never made an important decision in my life," he tells the man, "I always buy things in plaid 'cause I can never decide on one color." Doug always ran the house. Joey wishes he could talk to their father again despite the fact that Old Man Penhall was "usually so sauced he didn't even know who I was." He's afraid that if he makes the wrong decision "Doug will beat the crap outta me in hell."

The priest asks why Joey assumes he and his brother are both going to hell. Joey asks if the priest ever actually hears God; if he sits in the church long enough, will Joey know what to do about Doug? The priest advises Joey to listen to his heart. "I'd rather listen to God," says Joey, "I came all the way over here in crosstown traffic." "God speaks to us through our hearts," the priest explains.

At the college radio station, Mac is DJing and Judy is posing as the station manager. A guy comes in asking for the manager, saying he's an independent promoter. Judy claims the flowers in the office are from a record label in New York, attempted bribery to get their songs played. Mr. Wells the promoter chuckles that some people have no sense of professionalism. He has a tape by a band called X Ray Gorillas. Judy doesn't think much of the band and won't play it. 

Mr. Wells offers to buy her dinner. Judy says no. Mr. Wells changes his tactic: "Play this tape if you wanna stay healthy." Judy orders him out of the office.

Joey drops Clavo off at school. The kid is upset about being late; Doug always gets him there on time. Joey apologizes. He didn't know it was so hard to make a left turn near the school. "Doug always takes the back way," says Clavo. This is starting to remind of the Two and a Half Men episode where Alan and Charlie were left in charge of Jake for a week. Clavo wants to go to the hospital. Joey promises to come pick the kid up if Doug has an operation.

Joey starts to walk to the truck. Clavo calls after him that Doug always watches until Clavo gets up the school steps, then they wave at each other and Doug leaves. Joey is sorry. He should've stayed anyway because there aren't any teachers outside. Joey doesn't know about the routines Clavo and Doug have; he wishes he did. If something happens to Doug, Clavo will have to be more patient with him. "Okay," Clavo agrees.

In his coma dream, Doug is wearing his suit from court. He gets out of his bed, which is in the middle of a golf course for some reason. Cap'n Rufus is there. Doug is glad to see him. "Everyone always says that," Rufus says serenely. Doug thinks he was more than just winged and wonders where he is. Rufus tells Doug to relax and enjoy the club, then he claims to be Saint Peter. Doug asks if he's on Candid Camera.

Rufus tells Doug he'll be in the clubhouse when Doug finishes walking the grounds. At the closest hole, Doug sees an older man unsuccessfully attempting to whack a ball out of a sandtrap; the last person he saw golf so badly was his father. "What the hell?" asks Doug, realizing it is his dad. Papa Penhall corrects that they're in purgatory.

"How can you be talkin' to me? You're dead!" Doug cries. Papa Penhall grouches, "Don't rub it in." Doug asks if he's dead and in purgatory too. "I got my own problems," says Papa Penhall, who clearly subscribed to the John Winchester method of parenting. Doug says, "Just like when you were alive."

Papa Penhall tells Doug to let his selfishness be a lesson. Doug doesn't think his old man is in any position to give advice on fatherhood. 

A horn honks in the distance. It's Doug's dead wife Marta, driving a golf cart. Doug kisses Marta, telling her how he much he's missed her. He gets in the golf cart and says, "You look good for havin' been dead 2 years." Marta ignores this: "You were supposed to be taking care of Clavo. This is what will become of him." Clavo is playing on a tire swing when a social worker and an INS agent arrive. "You can't take him back to El Salvador!" Doug shouts desperately, "His aunt's an enemy of the government! They killed her 2 years ago!"

Doug's headache gets so bad that he collapses on the ground. Marta holds him.

Joey and Clavo come to the hospital to say goodbye before Doug's surgery. Clavo kisses his fingertips and gently touches them to Doug's forehead. Joey leans down and says, "I was just getting to know you again." Doug is wheeled into the operating room.

At the radio station, Mr. Wells successfully bribes Mac into playing the X Ray Gorillas tape. Mac will see him when the promoter has the rest of the money. Mr. Wells leaves. Mac asks Judy how Doug is, but she doesn't know. Doug not being around is hard on her because they've known each other and worked together for 5 years.

In the waiting room, Clavo tugs on Joey's shirt. He's tired and wants to go home. "But Doug might wake up," Joey tells him. He promises to see what he can do.

Back at Club Coma, Cap'n Rufus waylays Doug at the clubhouse entrance and says he can't let Doug in. Doug explains that he needs to use the phone; INS has Clavo. Rufus still refuses. Doug isn't on the list of new members; he needs to walk the grounds some more. Rufus cautions that some people never get into the clubhouse. Doug asks if he's going to hell. "You're asking all the wrong questions," says Cap'n Rufus. Doug pleads that Clavo needs him. "All the more reason to remember everything you see here," says Rufus before disappearing.

Doug spots a woman gardening at the 18th hole. "Douglas James," she greets. It's Mama Penhall. Doug asks if having to keep the grounds with a pair of cuticle scissors is Mama Penhall's punishment for committing suicide when he and Joey were kids. "The hell was being away from you boys," she corrects.

Mama Penhall remarks that Doug has gotten mouthy. Doug tells her it was the only way he could keep Papa Penhall from walking on him. She tenderly reaches for her son's forehead, asking, "Did you hurt yourself?" Doug wishes she'd stuck around. "Just don't make the same mistake with your boy," says Mama Penhall. She places her hands on Doug's head. When she lets go, the bandage is no longer there. Doug floats away.

When Doug opens his eyes, the first thing he sees is Joey napping in a chair by his bed. "Joey," he murmurs. His brother can't hear him because Joey is asleep and snoring; he also has a stethoscope in his ears for some reason. Doug says, "Thanks for waiting up for me," then he loudly calls, "Joey!" Joey looks over. "Hey, ya little runt," says Doug.

Joey is ecstatic. Doug asks about Clavo. Joey assures him that Clavo is home with the babysitter. "No, no, something's wrong," Doug insists, "He would be here. You were never good at lying to me." Joey explains that Clavo is scared that Doug will die. He doesn't want to see Doug, even if Doug lives.

"He saw an ad on TV for foster parents," Joey hesitantly goes on, "He wants me to find him a new home." The big guy is close to tears. And so am I! What an episode!

Later, with the aid of a gait belt and a walker, Joey gets Doug into a chair. Doug asks him to send Clavo in. When the kid arrives, Doug asks how he's doing. Clavo shrugs. Doug is glad Clavo came to see him; Clavo must be angry with him. "I'm not," says Clavo, "Everybody at school says that you're a hero."

Doug modestly says he's not a hero. He admits he would've been angry if his own dad's job had involved being shot at. Clavo walks up to the chair and confesses to being real mad at his uncle. Doug sits Clavo on his lap and says he has news: "I think it's better for both of us if..."

Joey is in the hall drinking a soda and wanders past Doug's room. He catches the tail end of the conversation, Doug promising to do what he has to in order to make Clavo happy. "Things sure look a lot better since I left," Joey remarks. He asks if this story will end happily ever after. Doug thinks so.

Mr. Wells comes to the radio station with more bribe money. Mac and Judy reveal that they're cops. They have the payola conversation on tape. Judy and Mac have a good cop/bad cop conversation. Mac wants 5 minutes alone with Mr. Wells. Judy says that if Mr. Wells gets disabled, she wants her name off the arrest report. Mac promises not to do permanent damage. Mr. Wells agrees to give up the shooter. It was a guy from Miami named Levinson. When the squad car arrives, Mac laughs triumphantly.

The Jump Street team, minus Joey, gathers in Cap'n Rufus's office. Doug thanks them for finding the guy who shot him. He has something to say before their morning meeting. Doug is taking early retirement. He turns in his badge and gun, saying it's been an honor to serve with everyone. Nobody knows what to say.

Cap'n Rufus breaks the silence by saying he has a rule against saying goodbye and is leaving for an early lunch. Doug shakes his hand. Mac wishes he could've worked with Doug longer. Doug already has a new job, partial ownership of a bowling alley with an academy buddy. They do a complicated handshake. Mac leaves.

Doug is now alone in the office with Judy. He tells her they've been through a lot together, personally and professionally. They joke about how Doug still can't program his VCR, even though Judy showed him how and even drew a diagram. "On my worst day, you can still make me laugh," she says, "I really hate you for leaving. I hate you." "I hate you too," Doug says softly.

At this point, you could cut the sexual tension with a knife. They share a platonic hug. Judy cries.

Up in the locker room, Joey practically tosses a duffel bag loaded with Doug's locker contents at him. "You always said that I ran out, that I quit. Look at you," Joey snots. Doug reminds him that it's not just about him anymore; he has to look after Clavo. Joey says the two of them would've been fine together. 

"I love you, Joey, but you could barely keep the two o' you in clean socks," Doug disagrees. Joey pouts: "You can't leave. You're my brother." Doug tells Joey to man up. He adds that Joey can "drive down on weekends between commendations." Joey feels like he was just getting to know Doug again after 5 years apart. "I'm always gonna be your brother," Doug tells him.

"Uncle Doug!" Clavo chirps, running in. Doug picks up Clavo so he can kiss Joey on the cheek. "I have to kiss you now?" Joey sasses his brother. Doug takes off his St. Michael medal and gives it to Joey. Joey tries to decline the gift; Doug was almost never without it. "It's good luck. Mom would've wanted you to have it," Doug insists. End of episode, end of an era for the show. I'm gonna miss Doug!

"Murder in the First" (1995)

I was never interested in the sorts of things most young children, especially girls, would find remotely appealing. Case in point: I was about nine, spending a Sunday afternoon with my grandma . We were watching the Discovery Channel and a special came on, called “Public Enemies on The Rock,” a documentary about the history of Alcatraz and its infamous menagerie of inmates. I sat, riveted, listening to former guards and inmates tell stories of Al Capone, “Machine Gun” Kelly, Alvin “Creepy” Karpis, and daring escape attempts. I had never heard of these men or the prison before, but something about them and Alcatraz itself fascinated me. Over the next year, I watched more documentaries and read about a dozen books on the subject. Most of these reiterated information I already knew, so I quickly lost interest.

At a local video store recently, I stumbled upon this title. The tagline on the box proclaimed: “Based on the true story of the trial that brought down Alcatraz.” I ran through my mental file of Alcatraz lore. Nothing I had previously read or seen had mentioned anything about the prison being involved in any kind of lawsuit. 

Murder in the First is based on the trial of Henri Young. He was part of a group who tried to break out of Alcatraz in 1938, the famous escape attempt that resulted in the death of “Doc” Barker. Rufus McCain, one of the prisoners involved, tipped the guards off about the escape attempt and told them that Henri was the mastermind. Henri’s punishment was a stay in a basement dungeon that was used for solitary confinement when D Block got too crowded. At the time, federal law stated that a prisoner could be sentenced to solitary confinement for a maximum of 19 days; Henri was kept in the dungeon for 3 straight years. The guards beat him regularly and the assistant warden cut his Achilles tendons with a straight razor, leaving Henri partially crippled for life.

After 3 years, the assistant warden decided that Henri had learned his lesson. He was allowed to shower, taken to the prison barber for a shave and a haircut, and then escorted to the prison cafeteria. While Henri was eating, one of the other inmates told him that Rufus McCain was the reason Henri had been sent to the dungeon. Somewhere during his long stay in solitary, Henri had totally lost his mind, so he ran across the cafeteria and stabbed McCain in the neck with a spoon. McCain died instantly and Henri was charged with first-degree murder. The rest of the movie deals with the trial.

           

This movie features (what was for the mid-1990s) an A-list cast: Kevin Bacon, Gary Oldman, and Christian Slater. R. Lee Ermey, who played the drill instructor in Full Metal Jacket, plays the judge. Kyra Sedgwick from that crappy TV show The Closer makes sort of a cameo appearance as a court reporter who must be tragically underpaid. (Watch the movie and you’ll understand what I mean).

Christian Slater plays James Stamphill, a Harvard Law graduate who now works for the public defender in San Francisco. James is fresh out of law school and frustrated because he hasn’t gotten to go to court yet. His boss assigns him the Henri Young case; he figures James won’t win, but at least he’ll get some experience as a trial attorney.

I’ve seen a few other Christian Slater movies. In most of them, the characters he played were very unlikeable, so I had no sympathy for them. Whatever happened to them, they deserved it, end of story. James Stamphill is not one of those characters. James doesn’t defend Henri because he’ll get a fat paycheck. He doesn’t defend Henri because the cute legal secretary down the hall says she’ll sleep with him after he tries his first case, whether he wins or loses. James defends Henri because he is horrified that three years of “rehabilitation” turned a petty criminal into a murdering nutcase and wants to make sure the guards are not allowed to treat any other prisoners in such an inhumane fashion.

Henri was played by Kevin Bacon. He seemed “into” this role, so I found it easy to react to what was happening to his character. In a scene where he cries on the stand and says he’d rather be executed than go back to Alcatraz because of what the guards did to him, it’s hard not to feel sorry for him. When Henri did strange or creepy things, I started to think maybe Kevin Bacon wasn’t acting.

I was startled when I did some research online and learned that Kevin Bacon wasn’t even considered for a Best Actor Oscar. I mean, look at Anthony Hopkins and Jack Nicholson. They both received Best Actor for playing psychopathic killers. Maybe the role of Henri Young didn’t count because Henri wasn’t crazy to start with?

Looking at the facts of the case from a 21^st-century perspective, I am surprised there was even a trial at all. During the 1930s and 1940s, inmates who killed other inmates were usually handled internally by the warden of the prison where the crime took place. A couple of weeks in solitary and several years added to the murderer’s sentence was the usual punishment. The life of a fellow inmate just wasn’t worth the hassle and expense of a public trial; those usually happened only if an inmate killed a guard. I suppose an exception was made in the Henri Young case because the murder took place on Alcatraz, which was federal property.

This movie isn’t for everyone. It’s not something you watch to be entertained. You watch it maybe because you enjoy the historical aspect of it or you find the legal aspect interesting or you just like movies with human drama and emotion. Even though it doesn’t end all that happily, you can still turn the DVD off feeling satisfied. I highly recommend it.

Top 10 Quotes: "Home Alone"

1. Marv: "Santy don't visit the funeral homes, little buddy."

2. Gangster 'Johnny': "Keep the change, ya filthy animal."

3. Kate: "Heather, did you count heads?"
Heather: "11, including me. 5 boys, 6 girls, 4 parents, 2 drivers, and a partridge in a pear tree."

4. Harry: "I think we're gettin' scammed by a kindy-gartener."

5. Kevin: "Bless this highly nutritious microwaveable macaroni and cheese dinner and the people who sold it on sale. Amen."

6. Kate: "This is Christmas! The season of perpetual hope! And I don't care if I have to get out on your runway and hitchhike, if it costs me everything I own, if I have to sell my soul to the devil himself, I am going to get home to my son."

7. Gus (while trying to make Kate feel better about forgetting Kevin): "I did leave one [his kid] at a funeral parlor once. Yeah, it was awful We were all distraught, the wife and I. We left the little tyke there in the funeral parlor all day. All day. And we went back at night, you know, after we came to our senses. Apparently he'd been there alone all day with the corpse. But he was okay. You know, after 6-7 weeks, he came around and started talking again."

8. Kevin (after flipping through Buzz's copy of Playboy): "No clothes on anybody! Sickening!"

9. Peter: "How am I supposed to shave in France?"
Kate: "Grow a goatee."

10. Buzz: "Is it true that French babes don't shave their pits?"
Rod: "Some don't."
Buzz: "But they got nude beaches."
Rod (exasperated): "Not in the winter."

The Brothers DeLuise on 21 Jump Street ("Brothers"; Season 5, Episode 6)

Posting this recap because family is such an important part of Thanksgiving. Hope everyone enjoys their day of eating turkey and being together!

In the Chapel squadroom, Peter DeLuise's real younger brother Michael, sporting almost-shoulder-length hair and old clothes, is sound asleep (and snoring). His feet are propped on Doug's desk. Judy pokes him in the shoulder a few times, but he doesn't move. McCann rouses their guest and asks what he's doing there. Michael rubs his eyes and gives the obvious answer, "Sleeping." McCann tells him he can't do that in the Chapel. "Why not?" asks Michael, "This seems as good as place as any."

Judy tells Michael there's a homeless shelter down the street with "clean beds and everything." Michael says he belongs here. Judy and McCann exchange a what-the-hell-is-this-guy-on look. McCann tells him the Chapel is only for cops and criminals. Michael flashes his badge and explains he was told to report to the Chapel. Judy is embarrassed and apologizes. Michael shrugs, "No apologies needed, I like churches." He introduces himself as Joey Penhall. Given this episode's title, there's no way that's a coincidence.

Judy says they already have a Penhall on staff. When Joey explains that he's Doug's brother, Judy's expression shows she's never heard of him before. She asks if he's joking. Joey says earnestly, "No, I don't think so. Unless my dad lied." Brains clearly do not run in the Penhall family, even though looks certainly do.

Fuller comes in and shakes the hand of Jump Street's latest addition. Doug arrives and wants to know what everyone's looking at. "Hey, big brother, long time, no see," Joey greets. Doug shocks everyone present by punching Joey square in the face. Fuller catches the rookie before he hits the floor. Theme song.

At Casa de Penhall, Doug is cooking dinner and Clavo is coloring at the kitchen table when they hear a knock. Doug opens the door. Joey has a nice bruise on his jawline and admits he had "a knuckle tattoo coming." Doug wonders what Joey could possibly want; Joey wants to catch up. 

Clavo appears and asks who Joey is. Joey eyes the kid and asks if his brother has "a wife or two." "Not anymore," says Doug. Joey introduces himself to Clavo, shakes his hand, and asks what his name means. "It means...nail," Clavo says slowly, still unsure of his English. 

Joey's eyebrows almost disappear into his bangs: "Ya named yer kid Nail?" Doug shortly explains Clavo is his nephew. Joey asks, "Who named him Nail?" His mother did, obviously. Doug demands to know what the hell Joey is doing at his house.

Joey ignores him and keeps talking to Clavo. He asks what being Doug's brother makes him, relative wise. "It makes you nothin'," Doug says angrily. Joey asks to come in. "Like I got a choice," Doug responds. Joey steps inside. Doug gives Joey he has 5 minutes. Joey isn't sure he can fill his brother in on 5 years in that amount of time.

"Why don't you start with yesterday and work backwards?" Doug suggests. Joey recently graduated the police academy and requested Jump Street because Doug is the only family he has left. And let's be honest, with his baby face, Joey would've ended up there anyway. Doug understands, "All the bad stuff is over, [so] you wanna be brothers again...Pop was dyin' and you just left." 

Joey protests that he didn't know how to handle it; he was 15 at the time, just a kid. Doug fires back that he was 17, AKA not much older. He grew up fast being left behind to watch their father die of alcoholism. Doug didn't know how to handle the situation either, but he didn't run away. Joey agrees that he was always the troublemaker, but he changed; he's a cop, fer cryin' out loud. Doug reminds him that a lot of cops aren't great at being people. Joey repeats that he wants to be back in his brother's life.

Doug sighs and delivers a nice monologue about how he's waited a long time for Joey to come back and tap his special knock on the door. After Joey ran off, Doug hardly left the house because he was afraid of missing it; he used to think about what kind of speech he'd give, then he decided he couldn't forgive Joey. He never wanted to hear his brother's special knock again. "You shoulda put in a doorbell," Joey sasses. Doug growls, "You're a riot. Get out."

As Joey is bodily pushed out of the apartment, he begs for another chance. He has nobody except for Doug. "You got no brother," Doug says before slamming the door in his face.

In Fuller's office, the captain meets with a worried father, Mr. Morgan. His teenage daughter Stephanie is missing and apparently "got sucked in with a group of crazies called Heaven's Family." Fuller understands they're a religious group. "They're a damn cult is what they are," says Mr. Morgan. Fuller explains that cults are protected under the law as religious organizations. Mr. Morgan asks if that rule applies when the group is involved in things like drug trafficking.

Fuller assembles the officers in the squadroom. He needs a volunteer because the cult assignment will be a 24-hour-a-day role. Whoever goes undercover will have to completely give up their personal life. Joey offers to take the case, "seein' as how I got no pending engagements with relatives or friends." It's an obvious jab, but nobody comments. Fuller tells the rest of the team they'll be researching background information on Heaven's Family.

Joey enters the Heaven's Family house and is greeted by a brunette named Rachel, who looks a lot like the missing girl Stephanie. Joey explains that he saw the EVERYONE WELCOME sign. Rachel offers him a glass of punch and they go in another room to drink it. Did nobody ever teach Joey what can happen if you drink the literal Kool-Aid?

Rachel asks if Joey is from the area. "Sorta...If you call sleepin' in a doorway down the street livin' around here," says Joey. Rachel asks if Joey has any family. He honestly replies, "None that wants anything to do with me." Rachel understands and invites him to stay for dinner. Joey thinks she's asking him out and agrees.

Later, everyone sits in the living room eating fried chicken and mashed potatoes off paper plates. Rachel explains the Heaven's Family philosophy: replacing all the hate in the world with love. In their society, there's no hate, greed, or loneliness and "we give our love freely." Free love, huh? I'm getting a very Charles Manson vibe.

The next day, Joey calls Fuller from a phone booth to say he's going to the Heaven's Family camp for a weekend retreat. Fuller doesn't think it's a good idea; nobody told Joey where the camp is. Fuller points out that's because they don't want anyone to go looking for him. Joey's no sucker and dismisses the Family's beliefs as "hocus-pocus, lovey-dovey crap." Fuller tells him anyone can get lured in by a cult.

Joey reminds the captain he can't follow the narcotics lead if he doesn't go. Rachel comes over to say the bus is leaving. Joey quickly pretends he's talking to his Aunt Anne, hanging up with a sweet "Don't cry on the phone, it makes me ill." Like Rachel won't be suspicious after Joey told her that he's estranged from his whole family.

A school bus bumps its way down a country road, stopping at what looks like a sleepaway camp. A crowd of people swarm the bus and hug the passengers as they disembark.

In a dining room filled with long picnic tables, Heaven's Family chows down on rolls and salad. Joey asks, "When's the protein comin' out?" Rachel explains that they're vegetarians and grow their own organic produce. Is that what they call marijuana these days? Joey wants to know how the compound is paid for. Rachel says they sell flowers, arts and crafts, and clothes. A man named Joshua calls for attention and welcomes everyone on behalf of their spiritual leader David. Can anybody say "Waco"?

"It's hard to be a young person in this world today," he starts, "How many of our guests today can honestly say, 'I have love in my life?' I mean real love, pure love." Nobody raises their hand. "That's what I thought," says Joshua, adding that society and the planet cannot survive if people don't accept love and reject hatred.

At the Chapel, Mac brings Fuller a computer records check on Heaven's Family. They're clean, except for one thing. It seems that Mr. Morgan filed a report at another precinct about the group running a prostitution ring. The investigation was dropped for lack of evidence. Fuller wants to talk to Mr. Morgan again. 

In the dining hall, the Heaven's Family members put their arms around each other and sway to religious music. Joey breaks away and sits down, fanning himself. He checks his watch. Rachel comes over to get him back in the circle. "It's 3 AM. Don't you people ever sleep?" Joey asks. Rachel chuckles that Joey's cute, kisses him, and pulls him to his feet.

Joshua enters the mens' cabin, singsonging, "Morning brings a new day! A new day brings more love!" The others join in as they wake up. Joshua tries to get Joey out of bed. "It's 5 AM!" Joey bellows at him. Joshua tells him that an hour spent sleeping is an hour wasted. "If you don't mind, I'd like to waste about 8 more hours," says Joey. Joshua practically dumps Joey out of his bunk bed.

Joey joins the rest of the cult on the lawn, where they're doing jumping jacks. Joey wears out faster than a recent police academy grad should, but I'll chalk that up to lack of sleep. There's a montage of them singing more hymns, playing Red Rover, and making wreaths.

The Heaven's Family kids sit in a circle on the grass and talk about their lives. Rachel's father never loved her, just his job. When her best friend died of a crack overdose, Rachel's dad said he didn't have time to help her deal with her grief. 

The others' stories are similar. A black boy describes being beaten by a gang. A redhaired boy with glasses was beaten by his father. A girl was sexually abused by her father.

Joey isn't sure he wants to unpack his emotional baggage just yet, but eventually starts talking: "My old lady died when I was 4, actually, she killed herself. Starting when I was about 6, my pop, he started drinkin'...boozin', uh, a lot. By the time I was 15, he was really sick. The doctor said it was too late; his liver was almost gone. Me and my brother, we didn't know what to do." No teenager would. Hell, sometimes people's adult children don't know how to cope. Joey ran away right after that.

Joshua asks if that's what led Joey to Heaven's Family. Joey goes on that he's been living in hotels or on the streets for the last 5 years, moving around a lot. He came back home, got a job, and tried to reconnect with his brother. The reunion didn't go as planned, which I'm sure they can tell by the nice bruise. Joey thought Doug would welcome him with open arms "instead of a clenched fist."

Joey wraps up, "When I was a kid, I thought the only thing family was for was to share pain. That was the only thing I knew growin' up. 5 years on the street changed my mind about that; 5 minutes with my brother changed it right back." Rachel comforts him that Joey has a new family now.

In Fuller's office, the captain questions Mr. Morgan about the false prostitution report. Mr. Morgan asks them to understand. Doug understands that he lied again to get Heaven's Family investigated. Mr. Morgan is upset because, "They took my little girl away." Fuller is sympathetic, but, legally, there's nothing he can do.

Mr. Morgan blames himself: "All I was givin' her were material things. I wasn't givin' her love; no one was." Yeah, Rachel is definitely really Stephanie Doug asks what that has to do with anything. Mr. Morgan explains how cults "find some kid who isn't getting any love from her own family and then they take the place of the family." The significance of this statement is not lost on Doug, who immediately looks guilty. Fuller is concerned too and orders, "Pull Joey outta there."

Back at the compound, Joshua initiates new members into Heaven's Family. They repeat after him that will symbolize their acceptance of love and rejection of hate by rejecting their old names. Rachel kisses Joey and says, "Welcome to Heaven's Family...Abel."

Doug and Judy arrive at the camp; Judy found the address by looking up the land deed. Doug tells Joshua they're looking for Joey Penhall. Joshua assures them they don't know anyone by that name. Doug asks if he has to tear apart all 20 acres to find Joey. Joshua says they're welcome to do so if they have a warrant; Heaven's Family isn't involved in anything illegal. He's sorry they wasted their time and wishes them a peaceful trip home.

Doug grabs Joshua and says they're not leaving without Joey. "What if I don't wanna leave?" Joey asks, appearing suddenly. He informs them his name is Abel now. Doug tells Joey to drop the act; these people aren't dealing drugs like they thought. Joey knew that from the start. He wants to stay there because he feels loved. Doug tells Joey they can still fix their relationship and tries to drag him to the truck. Joshua shouts that trying to kidnap Joey is a felony. Judy herds Doug back into the driver's seat.

Around the table in the Chapel, Doug asks if anyone has any ideas about getting Joey out of the cult. Judy asks how deprogramming works. Fuller tells her the cult member is kidnapped and locked in a room with someone trying to get through to them. But kidnapping is still a felony and "we stop kidnappings; we don't do 'em." Mac asks what Fuller would do if it was Kip. "Whatever you do, I don't wanna know about it," says Fuller.

Doug tells Fuller he needs the interrogation room over the weekend to talk to a suspect. Judy already cancelled her weekend plans.

The next morning, Doug and Rachel stand in front of an office building trying to sell flowers to passersby. Joey's sales pitch needs a lot of work. Suddenly, a champagne colored panel van makes a screeching U-turn. Doug jumps out of the passenger. Joey tries to run to Rachel, who's on the next corner. Doug and Mac tackle Joey. Joey swings at them a few times before Mac can handcuff him. 

Rachel drops her bundle of flowers when she hears the commotion, crying, "Abel! Call the police! They're kidnapping him!" Mac and Doug toss the still struggling Joey into the van. Rachel puts her hands over her mouth in horror.

Doug fireman-carries Joey into the Chapel's interrogation room. Judy handcuffs the younger Penhall to the radiator. Doug requests that his coworkers go next door and get Joey a cheeseburger. Judy and Mac leave. Doug asks Joey if he's hurt. 

"Joshua warned me about you. He said you'd try to do this," says Joey, "He said you'd try to get me to reject David's teachings." "He's right," Doug says, "You're my brother, Joey." Joey retorts that his name is Abel and stares at the wall. "That's so intelligent," says Doug, "I say something you don't wanna hear and you just clam up and don't listen." Doug throws a chair against the wall, smashing it. 

His voice gets louder, "You are gonna listen to me. You are gonna talk to me!" Doug slaps his baby brother in the face. That'll get him to see reason, all right. Mac comes in just as Doug gets ready to hit Joey again; he tells Doug to take it easy. Doug gripes that he might as well be talking to the wall. Mac gives Doug a paper bag and suggests, "See if he's hungry. Give him somethin' to eat." He asks if Doug wants him to stay, but Doug says he'll be fine. 

Doug unwraps the cheeseburger and offers it to his brother: "Come on, I read about this stuff. That's how they weaken your mind; they deprive you of protein." Joey keeps looking the other way. Doug puts the burger back in the bag and leaves it in case Joey changes his mind.

In the squadroom, Judy and Mac play Go Fish. Fuller tells them that Heaven's Family has reported a missing boy whose description matches Joey. Mac hasn't seen Joey for a week. "Um...neither have I, I guess," mumbles Fuller. Much like Art on Justified, he's probably wondering how he keeps getting himself in these situations.

Meanwhile, Doug tries another tactic, "You get sucked into that b.s. cult, it's just like runnin' away. You ran away from Mom's suicide, Pop's drinking, from me, from life. You're a coward." Joey glares at him and says, "I didn't run from anything; I ran to something. I ran to a better way of life. I ran to people who are capable of loving me." Also, to be fair, Doug also ran away for brief periods after their mom's suicide.

Doug asks who gets the money from the flowers Heaven's Family sells. Joey tells him it goes to the Heaven's Family Foundation to support its 5,000 worldwide members. Doug wants to know how many flowers they sell a day. Joey tells him most people sell 5 at $5 each. Doug does the math: 5,000 kids times $25 a day equals $125,000 a day (tax-free). Joey doesn't have to listen to this. "Not again," Doug mutters.

Joey is sleeping on the concrete floor and wakes up when the door opens. "Now that you got some sleep, you feel like eatin' somethin'?" Doug asks. He put the cheeseburger in the microwave and "it's better than fresh." He begs Joey to just have a little, kneeling down to his brother's level. Doug can't believe he's doing this.

"You know, Ma used to do this when you were a little punk just outta diapers," Doug tells him, "If it weren't for [Ma] force-feeding ya, you'd-a died of self-starvation by the age of 3." Doug jams the cheeseburger in Joey's mouth. Joey takes a bite but spits it right back out.

Doug sits next to Joey and decides to take a more sensitive approach. He tells him about what happened one morning all those years ago. Their father called Doug over to his bed, "tells me he loves me. That scared the hell outta me, Pop usin' the 'L' word. Then he calls me over closer, says, 'Where's Joey?' 'I dunno, Pop.' There's a long silence...just sittin' there...just him and me. 'You tell Joey, no matter where he is, I love him.' Those were his last words." Doug adds that he lost Joey once and doesn't want to lose him again: "I need my brother."

Joey finally speaks, "What was Ma like?" Doug tells him she was the best. Joey hardly remembers her, not surprising because she died when he was pretty young. He asks, "You bury Pop next to her?" Doug did. Joey wants to go visit their graves sometime. "Whenever you like, Joey," says Doug. Joey starts eating the burger.

This scene was absolutely beautiful. It has a lot of raw emotional impact. The love that Peter DeLuise has for little brother Michael really comes across. No high drama or hysterics, just slow realization on Joey's part that Doug really just wants the best for him. And Doug has realized how much he still loves Joey and needs to fix the situation so they can be a family again.

Joey makes a trip to the Heaven's Family house and sees the group leaving on another retreat. Rachel walks over to Joey and says she misses him. She invites him to go to the camp for the weekend. Joey suggests she stay in town with him, but Rachel says she can't. They share what will probably be their last kiss and Rachel hurries to join the rest of the cult. Joey watches sadly as the bus drives away. End of episode.